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Saturday, November 27, 2010

Don't forget to laugh!



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It's my FAVORITE time of the week!
It's time for:


For those of you who are new:

Just like cartoons early Saturday morning ...
When you would get up early on PURPOSE to wrap yourself in a blankie, big bowl of cereal in your lap and watch silly shows till you couldn't laugh anymore??
Everyone likes to laugh. I haven't met many people who don't. We all love to laugh, or smile, giggle to ourselves, or laugh out loud so randomly that the people around us wonder if they need to call for help...
(That last one is my FAVORITE pass-time)

Well I know that I do. I also know I LOVE to make others laugh, therefor..  
"Silly Saturdays!"


Sit back, drink some coffee, chow some cereal, and remember what its like to just laugh.
...like there is nothing else that matters in the world...

Share them with your friends. Keep them to yourself. You can even join in and share what YOU'VE got!
All I ask, is that you smile, relax, and Laugh!


Don't forget to leave you thoughts, questions, requests and <3 in the comments below!!

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Just some morning jokes:

 
HOW TO START A FIGHT
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.  The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....

 
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.  I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"  "No," she answered.  I then said,
"Is that your final answer?"  She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes.."  So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started.....

I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reasson, took my order first.  "I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"  "Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started.....

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"  "Yes," she sighed, "He's my old boyfriend.  I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago,  and I hear he hasn't been sober since."
"My God!"  I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
And that's when the fight started.....

 
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.  But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.  Always something more important to me.  Finally, she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.  I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.  I was only gone for a minute, and when I came out again, I handed her a toothbrush.  I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

And that's when the fight started.....
 



My wife sat down next to me as i was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"  I said, "Dust."
And that's when the fight started.....


Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage.  I hooked up the boat the the van, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.  The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.  I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of five years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
And that's when the fight started.....


My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.  She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And that's when the fight started.....




My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible;  I look old, fat and ugly.  I really need you to pay me a compliment."
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
And that's when the fight started...


_____________________________________________________


The following laughs thanks to:


Dear Hansel,
This is why we don't take candy from strangers.
Sincerely, Gretel.

Dear Girls,
"You look nice today" is a compliment, not an implication that you are ugly on all other days.
Sincerely, Boys.

Dear poets,
Violets aren't blue, they're violet.
Sincerely, reality doesn't rhyme.

Dear Socks,
I've told you. We can't hang out. I'm Sorry.
Sincerely, Sandals.

Dear skinny girls,
Please stop talking about how wonderful my personality is.
Sincerely, The girl with great curves.

Dear Patient,
I know my hands are in your mouth. It's funny to watch you try.
Sincerely, Your dentist.

Dear Medicines,
Please call me when your side effects 
don't include sudden death.
Sincerely, I'll keep the ADHD.

Dear Microwave Popcorn,
Please pop all the kernels in the bag.
Sincerely, if I wanted half a bag, I'd share.

Dear person sending me Farmville invites,
I will kill your sheep and make them into UGGS. Stop.
Sincerely, annoyed Facebook user.

Dear Birds,
We do WHAT?!
Sincerely, the Bees.

Dear Christmas,
When I'm done with them, they won't fit 
into your precious little sweaters!
Sincerely, Thanksgiving.


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3 comments:

Sarah the Writer said...

Hilarious! Where did you find the "How to Start a Fight?" scenarios? Those are priceless! And some of the DBPB are so true!

LegosInMyPocket said...

ahaha the how to start a fight i just happen to get in an email from my brother.. and Melissa thought they were hilarious, told me I HAD to put them up here :)

Sarah the Writer said...

Nice! Love 'em!

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