I feel lost and confused not quite sure what I want to do right now.
I feel stuck like nothing seems to change.
My brain is full of thoughts that I don't feel are safe to say out loud... or even to write.
Money is definitely tight and my medical bills just keep piling up. And after working with the dentist and my insurance companies for the last two months I find out that I now have to pay $2300 upfront to get my wisdom teeth pulled. And that's just for the anesthesia that won't be covered by my insurance.
Are you kidding? How am I supposed to come up with $2300?!
And definitely not in the timeframe I was hoping since I'm planning on starting school in March... Of course.
So now I just have to set my mind to getting school started in finding a part-time job so I can help with some of these bills. On top of all that, we have so many doctors appointments scattered here and there while they try to find out WHY I can't seem to get pregnant again.
Through all of this my closest friend, and soulmate Summer is going through troubles of her own, battling some pretty tricky demons. I'm trying my best to be the best friend that I can but I just can't seem to find it in me to be there for her the way she needs me. I'm trying I really am, but I feel like she's doing things I can't agree with. Making choices she knows are wrong.
Like touching that hot stove one more time,
even though you know it's going to burn again... but just maybe it won't.
I'm way too protective of her and can't watch her be hurt again and again and again, while just standing by and watching. That's just not how I work. So I have told her how I feel, hopefully she understands and doesn't hate me too much. I just have to step back and let her do things her way, and figure things out on her own. I just love her too much.
...But I do miss her...
Ryan is so sleepy since he's been working his butt off doing 12 hour shifts. We pretty much only see each other on his days off. Thankfully he gets an extra day off every other week, so that works out nicely! Hopefully things start to look up and figure themselves out, I really think we all could use the breather-break.
Don't forget to check out 366 Pages1 picture & 1 simple thought for each day this year.
Page 12 of 366 - Gonna play Where's Waldo with my left ovary.