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Every year its the same thing. September rolls around, Summer is officially over and school is back in session. The stores start rolling out the new clothes, new supplies, "Back to School" all over the place. But sprinkled in with the new binders, markers, papers, shoes & sweaters... are the beginnings of the season.. The smell of the cinnamon candles...the little poofs of white with googly eyes...the little orange, purple, & black displays here & there that start the itching in every holiday fanatics brain. you KNOW what i'm talking about.
(Yes you, shaking your head like you have no idea.
you ain't fooling me!)
*HALLOWEEN*
And it starts off small too.
"Oh look at these little spider candle holders! they are So adorable!"
"OHP! These candy corn candy dishes are to die for!"
As innocent as we think those few little decorating trinkets are, they are JUST the beginning of the insanity about to ensue. And as slow as we think THEY are ... The Husbands and Boyfriends know the storm has hit waaaay before we do! At first they fight it.. quietly.. ignoring your oooh's & aaah's at Fred Meyers. Soon they become a little louder, reminding you its not even October yet & you don't NEED another party dish. Then the Candy hits the stores... IN BULK. & they cave, and crawl into the attic rafters & dive into garage boxes digging out your hidden trove of decorations because they would rather give in now & get to sneak candy from the bowl earlier... The next thing you know its Sept 30th and your house is already completely decorated in & out with candy bowl stocked full with reimbursements in the cupboard.
But like I said... JUST THE BEGINNING.
Because before you know it Halloween is at the end of the week, your DYING to take all this fake webby crap & rubber spiders down & get your house clean & ready for the next big party...
THANKSGIVING
Thanksgiving is that time of year where no matter WHAT we say, or how civil we try to act.. really its the worlds BIGGEST "Battle of the mothers." EVERYBODY has to cook or bake SOMETHING. whether its at their house, or butting their way all the way up into YOUR domain and trying to tell you how to stir your gravy in YOUR kitchen.
(I'm a little territorial, I know...)
But no matter what, the end result is all the same.
"I baked a turkey & ron just luuuuuvs my turkey"
"Oh! Thats lovley Sis! It will go GREAT with the sweet poatatoes that I made! I grew them in my own garden ya know..."
"Well I made my cranberry sauce that ron just MUST have. Even when he was a little boy he would cry if he didn't get Grandma's Cranberry sauce.. It's an old family recipe."
"Yes well, it smells delicious...but I brought a ham that I made at home. We Always raise our own you know, its the only way... Ron has never gone a year with out his mothers sweet Honey-apple ham.. he would be heartbroken if he did."
(I don't know who "Ron" is.. but my hubby says he sounds like a lucky man.
Don't worry, I smacked him good.)
And the almost silent battle continues as quiet heart stabs & brain punches are thrown. Even if you have made it this far, baked & cooked your heart out, laid out your best china, burnt to many fingertips, eaten to the point of explosion just to be poliet..
and to please your ever feastful eyes..
you KNOW you are just waiting for everyone to leave so you can do the dishes, clean the house, put away the china and say a silent thank the heavens that you were able to make it through the day and decide you have "Respected the Turkey" long enough!
"Please Please PLEEEEASE can you please get out the Christmas stuff... PLEASE!"
You beg... You Plead.. You even try to Bribe.. (or threaten..) but eventually he caves and out comes that glorious box of magic...because now... its that time. That time you yearn longingly for. The time you have been waiting for since that first cinnamon Halloween candle in September...
*.*.*.* CHRISTMAS!!
*.*.*.*
So out they come.. the candles, the garland, the lights.. Precariously strewn about the house in structured chaos as your husband cowers in the other room praying for his sanity through the next month. Hoping he can do whatever he can to stave off the arguments he knows will happen for at least a few more days so he can breathe a little bit before his time, patience, and wallet are brought into your crazed holiday obsession.
And once again it's 4 to 5 weeks BEFORE the big day and you find yourself in a room that looks like Christmas fairies threw up and working your way around a tree with so many ornaments its a wonder it doesn't topple over...
But now you can rest... now you can breathe.. Now you can sit back & enjoy the holidays while you exchange this years "Personal Ornament" with your hubby that you each picked out, laughing at how you each get more creative and ridiculous as each year passes... and just RELAX...
(of course, I mean
RELAX while you run around frantically trying to make sure EVERYONE has a present under the tree .."what the heck does Tiffany
like??".. getting family pictures taken for the Christmas cards... "DID I MAIL THE CHRISTMAS CARDS?!?"...and making sure that all the right foods are together for Christmas dinner... "Is your
mother coming to dinner??"...watching as the kids build snowmen and make angels in the freshly fallen snow that is now covering your driveway and car... "HUNNIE! Don't forget to shovel the driveway too!!" all the while sipping your favorite Venti Christmas Peppermint Mocha from
Starbucks...
Counting down the days till you have to
squeeze into that little black dress for your company
New Years Party...
Don't you Love the holidays??
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