As
I sit here on the couch staring at the computer screen… Wondering what
to type next, I realize I'm lost. I'm lost in the thought that I start
school in less than five days.
It's been 10
years… I almost don't know what to do with myself.
Every time I start to
think about it,
the un-comfort of being in a new place I don't know.
The
nervousness of meeting new people I don't know.
The unease of
learning a new subject that I know absolutely nothing about…
I have to
admit, this is all extremely terrifying.
Ryan, Being the sweetheart that
he is… Tried to take me to the supply store to get stuff that I need,
trying to get me into the excitement of it all. But instead of
excitement, walking through the aisles with my hands full of pink school
supplies… I started to think about everything That was looming... And I
stopped breathing.
Yup! Right there in the middle of Office Depot,
hyperventilating in the kids crayons section, there's me having a
full-blown panic attack…
Over going back to school.
Poor Ryan, I really
don't know how he deals.
When I began sobbing for no reason, it was
everything in his power that he could do to not laugh at me. He just
call me pulled me into his arms, told me to breathe and talked me
through the whole thing… not that that was an easy task in itself. I was
crying so hysterically you couldn't make out one word I was saying. Not
that I would repeat any of the incessant naïve twiddling that I was
babbling on about anyways.
It only lasted a few minutes, and as soon as I
started to calm back down Ryan carefully walked me out of the kids
isle... When I'm upset, Ryan puts his hand on the back of my neck palm
down to kind of relax me…
we will walk this way, and it helps me feel
centered.
I'm sure to everybody else around us though, it looks like
he's leading a very disobedient wife out of the store. A wife he has
just scolded so badly so much she began to cry…
Oh boy. Poor Ryan.. The
looks that I've seen him get from the women around us, I don't know how
he has put up with me for this long. If only they knew really how sweet
& supportive he really is! I mean come on. Your wife tells you that
instead of getting a job, shes gonna go back to school for almost a
year... And he takes extra shifts at work!
<3
I know that in the end
this will all be for the better. A great big step towards a wonderful
new future... But that's the thing. I'm worried I won't make it that
far...
10. Since my husband & I are graveyard shift people, I tend to get frustrated if I miss the sun because I'm sleeping. So during the week I try to get up in the morning at about 10am, have a cup of coffee out on the porch in the sun, then go back to sleep.
Q and the A time:
1. If you didn't have a/kid(s) right now where do you think you'd be? Well, since we don't have any kids yet (unless you count Dani) then I'm gonna answer this backwards. Where do I think we would be if we DID have a/kid(s). If we hadn't experienced the miscarriage, our baby would be around 10 months old this month. We would be getting to know our baby more & more each day, and counting down the days, planning for that first birthday this summer. Our baby would probably be very attached to Niecie, since I'm sure Melissa & I would have them together as much as possible. We probably would have already moved, or would be closer to moving back to Spokane at this point as well.
2. What's your most annoying trait? I talk WAY to much. I normally don't realize that it's to much and will go on & on until people are almost asleep. I also move my lips when other people are talking. Very subtly, like I know what your gonna say while your saying it. I don't even realize I'm doing it until it gets pointed out to me. And I mother. I mother EVERYTHING & EVERYONE. I don't mean to, its just who I am.
3. Ryan Gosling or Taye Diggs?Oh. Ryan. Definitely...
via (Because that's my Hubbly's name, of course!)....yea right. ;)
4. When are you at your best? When I'm around people that keep me calm, relaxed, & make me laugh.
5. What is the answer to the universe?
Music, Laughter & Life.
6. What do you geek out for?
Babys & Pigs.
Bring a baby pig around me & I'll probably need sedation.
7. GLEE or Criminal Minds?
What do you think?
8. What is your superpower?
If I recognize an actors voice, I can tell you almost instantly what else they were in. You can also give me any two-line lyrics from a song & I can prob tell you what song it's from. If i had to choose a super power, it would be to control the weather. Ryan wants to be invisible. :)
9. If you could LIVE anywhere, where would it be?
For a short time, like a few years... Italy. But for the rest of my life? Probably here, in Seattle. It's home. 10. Favorite Blog? To read? OMG there are so many... The one I check daily is my girlie Linds over @ Ot&Et. I can't get enough of that girl & her two adorable lil chitlins'! Also I tend to always read S.I.F., For The Love of Writing, Blogging Dangerously, A Grimm Tale, Time to Shine, My Beautiful Disaster, & Words Aloneamong many MANY others...
Now I'm supposed to tag people. I would love to see what anyone has to say, so if you want to do it, DO IT! Just leave me a comment letting me know you did so I can read them! :) But I guess I should do a few tags, so here it goes:
"What is your absolute favorite kids clothing brand?
Website please!!"
Since the only baby I shop for is Niecie, I really only go to one place.
That place is the #babyclothesmecca called
The little store they have here ALWAYS has such great sales! I took babygurl on a shopping spree during Christmas, & she got 1 whole outfit (pants,shirt,& cardigan) footie pjs, a suuupercute dress, hat&mittens, AND a babytoy...
We frequently spend time with my best friend Melissa (Or as I call her, Gibby) her husband Anthony, & their beautiful daughter, Annaise. She's our little "Niecie." They are our extended family, & we love them more than anything!
Ryan & I have always dreamed of being parents, & in October 2010, we unfortunately experienced a miscarriage. It was very heartbreaking, but we try to stay positive, even when it seems relentless... & we are still trying!
We are determined to become parents one way or another! Someday we will be. ♥
We live pretty basic lives here in the pocket.
There are only a few big things going on here...
*Danielle has started drivers ED this month... yikes!
*Breanna is Pregnant!
*I go back to school at the end of this month to be an MA
I try my best to post as much as I can here, but I will admit... My real life gets away from me... frequently. I try to stay funny, and smile, & laugh, & be fun here in the pocket... but sometimes life has its downs too. The way I see it though, without the downs, you can't fully appreciate the ups. :)
Well that's a lot about me, now I want to meet you!! While your exploring the pocket, make sure you Meet the Family & say Hi! Pop on over tho the Pocket Memories photo page to see what has caught my eye lately. Also check out out MFB Page... one of my top favorite monthly features. If you have a Facebook page, head on over and let me know so I can make sure to stop on by! You can even follow each of us on Twitter!
I love that you came to visit us, & hope you liked it enough to come back! You can follow us on GFC, (over on the right sidebar) Networked Blogs, or BlogLovin!
Make sure you leave me a comment letting me know
you came to visit so I can make sure to return the favor!
Hmm.
Why does everything we enjoy, always seem better with quantity?
More ounces to the coffee, more square footage to the place, buy 2 get the third half off,
or even buy one and get one free...
Why do we never seem pleased with what we get? When is enough enough??
I ask myself these questions when I feel I'm being greedy. Hoping that some other voice will pop into my head and tell me its okay to think of ME every now and again...
And it is, no doubt...
but sometimes the things we are blessed with at the moment are meant to be exactly that... for the moment.
Lets take shopping.
Honestly, it makes me feel better. Walking into a place and having something catch my attention enough that I am willing to spend MORE time walking into the dressing room to the dutiful task of trying it on. And when I make the decision to spend the green.. I can sigh a little and feel the butterflies start in the pit of my stomach trying to figure out when is the soonest I will get to wear this new treasure!
But the saddest part?
Now I need to go to the next store to find cute shoes to go with the new outfit.. and jewelry from the next store... One-Two-Three.
There is always a 1-2-3 punch.
And later when I get my bank statement I will come to the conclusion that I SHOULD have just stuck with the first punch... and come back for the rest...
But I NEED It!
Multiples to bring that orgasmic feeling of pleasure back 2 more wonderfully alluring times before I have had my fill...
...Speaking of...
Orgasms.
One of the BEST multiples EVER discovered.
I really don't care if they are different each time as long as I GET them. Sure I feel bad for the poor stud-muffingripping his side because of the stitch I just gave him, trying his best to hide his agony and play the handsome card.. I Feel for him.
But O!
What you have just done for me was Sooooo worth your pain.
So sorry, I guess.. No, Not REALLY..
but I do feel a little bad..
Does that count?
