Our babies gender (or so we thought) ultrasound!

*Our little lovebug! It has a cute little "Who-nose"!!*

SO as you can see...we had our ultrasound yesterday.
 20 weeks, & ready to find out the gender of our little baby!!

We got up early and I started my water chugging...

 *UUGH*
I hate that part soooo bad.

I love water, don't get me wrong... love love LOVE it.
but chugging 32 oz in 30 mins so soon after waking up..
well, sucks butt actually.

-_-

But never the less.. I chugged & chugged & headed to the doctors full of H20. We started the ultrasound so nervous & excited. The technician informed me that it would be a lengthy appointment, and was not just for finding out the gender. I agreed patiently, watching while he pushed, poked & proded my belly trying to get the best views to get his measurements. When he was reaching the end of his measuring...

*Baby is laying with it's hands under it's ear... like it's sleeping.
Just the same way it's daddy does*

...he informed me that it was about that time.

Ryan & I held hands as the tech got into the right angle for finding out the babies gender.

"Okay! Lets take a look here...soooo.. well it looks like the babies got it's legs closed pretty tight. Can't really get a good view.. but.. from this picture right here I would say that looks like a girl!"

"Nice!"
"wow..okay! yay!"
"I told you!"

We were pretty excited. The tech then went back to get a few more measurments that he had missed, and poionted out that the baby started to move around quite a bit.

"Well, since she's moving so much, do you think we could go back and get a better, more clear view to confirm the gender? Just to be sure?"
"Oh yea! Sure. Lets just take anouther look here..."

Now right about here, is where things got a bit... well.. confusing.

In a split second, we heard the tech say "Oh!" as Ryan, Danielle, & I all saw the same thing as the tech. A very prominent... non girl... man-bit.

"uhm... I think.. you might have a boy.. actually."

I instantly looked at Danielle, to see if she was thinking the same as I was. She was looking at me with very wide eyes, as we both quickly looked down at Ryan who was still staring at the screen.
In that same instant, we watched his face.. just.. fall ever so slightly.

Now, not that he wouldn't be super excited about a boy! He just really REALLY wanted a girl... & after being told that he had his little girl.. only to hear "oops, nevermind."

I wanted to cry.

Ryan looked at me, smiled and "Okay, cool! I have a son."

You could tell the tech felt bad, and started to make jokes with Ryan saying how he was sorry, he was trying to be on his side. It lightened the mood and everything was okay. The tech finished taking the measurements as Ryan, Danielle & I started talking about our little boy.

"Okay! So thats about it! Was there anything else for you?"
"Uhm, did we get a picture of the gender?"
"Uhm, I generally don't take those..."
"Oh. Okay, if your uncomfortable thats okay."
"No, I'm okay.. but, normally I don't do that, because..well.. if it was a girl, would you want a picture of that. Of her.. you know...parts?"

o.0

"Uhm... yes?"
"Oh, okay well I can do that then, gimmie one second."

At this point I was looking at Ryan & Danielle.. confused on why that seemed wierd.
I had seen those pictures a trillion times before. Niether of them seemed to understand either...
And then we hear that sound again..."Oh!"

We all quickly looked back at the screen.

"Well, If I hadn't just seen what I saw a few minutes ago.. I would easily say that this... is a girl you have here. yea... This looks like a girl...."

WHaaaaT?!

Ryan & I are squeezing eachothers hands at this point & Danielle has the most confused look on her face. We have no idea what to say... or how to react.

"What do you mean? I thought.."
"Well ya, but... That right there looks like a labia."
"Okay... So it's a girl then? You're sure?"
"Yup. I would pretty much say that this is a girl, lets just get a good angle so we can... oh..."

Oh geezus now what.

"Well, again.. That looks like a boy. I mean... well.. it could be a penis... actually that looks like the umbilical cord. So it could be a girl, or it could be a boy. I'm really not sure to be honest."

*This is the gender picture in question.Foot is to the left, the other leg is bent at the knee.. like a half criss-cross-applesauce... Baby bum is to the right.*

-_-

You have GOT to be kidding me.

The tech handed us all of our print outs, told us they would call us back if they needed anything else and we promptly headed upstairs to see Dr. Rockstar...
& My Momma ofcourse.

(For those who don't already know.. I'm lucky.. My mother WORKS for my OB.)

I started to show my mom the ultrasound pictures, and tell her what had happened. She had been there in the very beginning.. but as soon as he said the gender the FIRST time.. She headed back up to work... since thats all she was there for anyways.
She had MISSED all the rest of the fun.

Momma then proceded to show the ultrasounds to Dr. Rockstar.

"And he said he thought it was a what?... a boy?"
"Yea... well.. he said both.."

As I explained the story again... he continued to look at the ultrasounds.

"Yea... ya know. I can see where he was thinking that.. but that could also really be the umbillical cord... and that looks like it could be a labia...you know, Jaimie... These are just really not clear. i would not paint the nursery just yet.. I really don't think we can be sure."

Wonderful.

But I trust Dr. Rockstar's opinion, ALOT.

So, in conclusion... we are waiting till the next ultrasound in about 2 weeks. I have a Maternal Fetal specialist appointment since my blood levels came back slightly elevated for spina bifida. Dr. Rockstar said he is really not concerned about it though, because my levels are only ever so slightly elevated... the appointment is just to be sure.

So HOPEFULLY... we will find out then!

2 MORE WEEKS!!

Until then... I have some lovely pictures to gaze at. <3

*Baby Sucking it's thumb!!*


 

Don't forget to check out 366 Pages

1 picture & 1 simple thought for each day this year.
 

2 week work UPDATE

My first two weeks at my new job have been... a little rough.

To be honest, I'm nervous about what I can & cannot say here for the first time ever. I've never really worried about the things I say here in my own little world, aside from trying my best to stay politically correct & as family friendly as I can. I understand that it does not always happen, but atleast I make an effort.

So, all that aside, working my new job has been... for lack of better words, rough.
Not because the job itself is taxing... Actually, it's really very simple. It's more the enviroment there that is almost to much to handle. Now, I pride myself on being very mature.
Yes, my Husband & I like to indulge in childish moments now & again,
(him ALOT more than me.) but I believe that it is key to living a full & happy life. 
Now with that, the cumulative mindset at work is very childish- high school. Not all, but most.
Fake smiles, two-faced grins, back-stabbing hugs... & the whispers. The whispers are the worst. I understand that gossip is the common in most workplace. Especially when the majority of your co-workers are female or gay boys.

(Out of a hundred people working there,
5 are straight men, & they gossip just as much as the rest!)

If it were just normal, petty things, I wouldn't even be bothered. But on my FIRST day on shift, about to clock out, a co-worker turns to me and says:

"You know, I really like you! Your not half as bad as they made you out to be!"

EXCUSE ME?!?


Who are "they"? What was said? I'm glad you like me & all but 
what the FREAKING HELL?!?!?!?!?!?!

Again I try to turn away. To not pay attention. Then I am told who it is that has been spouting of these uncomfortably rude bits about me...Some one I really thought higher than. Yea, we might not get along outside of work, but I would never go to where she worked & talk crap about her. (She works with me now.) I had actually said really NICE things about her the whole day! 

So when normal people get to start a job fresh, 
I get tons of preconceived notions to prove wrong. 


That seriously hit a nerve with me. But again, I soldiered on. Then the next day, I hear that ANOTHER person who I was being really nice to had over heard somewhere that I had said we didn't really get along. & she decided that ment every time I was nice to her, I was really just being a kiss-ass. 

ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?

I had NEVER said that. Not even anything CLOSE! & I was beeing nice because thats what NORMAL people do... plus, I have NEVER been a "kiss-ass". EVER. & i sure as HELL don't plan on starting NOW. 

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh.

Know this: I live with being extremely Bi-polar. (Among other things.)  I have to make a choice every hour, every day to be happy, nice & postitive. Sometimes, I don't win that battle, Most of the time I do. But it is STILL a struggle. My manic is anger, it is the easiest for me. So when I work my butt off to be nice to someone, & the baisically spit in my face, It's a HUGE trigger for me. I want SO BADLY to show them exactly how nice I WAS being, & how NOT nice I really can be. I have to remind myself that it is not thier fault that they do not know how hard I am working. But It is also not my fault that they are simple minded & niave. 

*Juuuuuust BREATHE, Jaimie. & thank god that irrationality & stupid is NOT contagious.*

So now I have calmed down. I have taken my breath.
What am I told next? 

"Oh, By the way. One of the girls heard you mention that you had a miscarriage. That made her uncomfortable & she did not feel like it was appropriate work conversation. Just a heads up."

THAT my friends, was my final straw.
I could no longer control my rage.
I. WAS. LIVID.


Let me explain why:

• My lead is preggo. She doesnt say MUCH, but I do get to hear bits hear and there everyday about the nursery she's painting, her sleepiness from anemia, or how the baby is kicking. 
• Melissa's baby, (Niecie) is talk of the town. Not that I mind, but since everyone wants common ground to talk about, I hear about it from EVERY SINGLE CO-WORKER.
• (This same day) I received an announcement email full with picture, weight, length, & footprints of a co-worker-I-havn't-even-MET-yet's new baby.

 

 

Now all I did was simply state that my husband & I had experienced a miscarriage last October but we are doing good, & trying again, when ASKED if I had any kids. 

 

Seriously, If I get called into the office or talked to for that when EVERYONE else is talking about THIER little ones, I will have a COW. 

 

A giant speckled one that gives strawberry milk & a swift kick in your ASS.

 

Just because mine was not actually born? 

Please say something & push me over my edge. 

I'm already hanging on by fingertips as it is.

So yea, I'd say this past 2 weeks has been... a bit rough.

Just a bit.

Don't forget to check out this month's MFB!     Have you joined in on the postcard swap?? Click the button to hop in!!

I hate doctors..

Doctors...dentists...WHATEVER.
They all suck butt.

ESPECIALLY when they don't LISTEN.

I tooold them that I have major anxiety. I tooooold them that I would probley freak out.
I toooold them it would be easier if Ryan could stay with me until they hooked up the IV, which I was told would be perfectly fine.
That is ofcourse until the moment actually came and they decided:
...naaah, that's not gonna happen.

"She'll be fine. Jaimie, your fine..." 

when I started crying a little out of absolute fear,
(and alot of different drugs in my system)...
you know.. small little tears.. small sobs. Then the dentist actually said to me:

"Jaimie, you need to buck up."

Seriously?!?

I'm in a very small confined space, with two people I do not know, sitting uncomfortable with alot of unwanted drugs in my system, battling my best against my wost feelings of anxiety.

...and YOU have the audacity to tell me to "BUCK UP"?!?!

Thankfully I don't remember much after that... but the handsome hubby came to my rescue. Picked me up and got me out of there. He told me later that apparently even though I had a ton of IV sedative in my system, my adrenaline was to high and it wasn't allowing the IV to take me fully under. I wouldn't stop moving, wouldn't let them touch me, not even to take me out to Ryan. I have this lovely bruise from the IV to prove it:

( I know, this looks like a chubby little leg, but this IS in fact the inside of my elbow...)

 He did assure me though, that even though I know I probably reeeeally wanted to, I did NOT smack anyone... (Which I have a bad habit of doing when sedated.)
o.O

**Side note from Hubby**

Once home, And safe in bed... snuggling with Ryan while he watched T.v. I apparently was starting to just drift to sleep, when I violently twitched. Ryan didn't move or speak, unsure if I was still asleep, when (much to his enjoyment) I mumbled:

"...tripped over a tree stump.."

"mmhmm... okay baby."

he assured me while trying with everything in him not to laugh hysterically.

Sometimes, I HATE love him so, so much.

So, in conclusion, as I earlier tweeted:

Yup.
We'll have to try again later...
So, until next time! :)

Don't forget to check out this month's MFB!
 Have you joined in on the postcard swap?? Click the button to hop in!!

Are you serious?!?!?!?!

..please excuse my absence...

I know I've not been around the past few days,
& I can guarantee I will be absent for a few more...
I'm trying to get my house ready for impending doom.

or in otherwords:
Me being out of it trying to recover from the removal of this:

Yup. THAT thing laying down on it's side is my back WISDOM TOOTH. uugh. I have never had any teeth pulled or anything before, and when this one cam in I knew something was wrong. I got really sick, was in alot of pain, even got a huge infection down the whole side of my jaw. But when I took the meds to clear that up, the pain went away. Yea, the tooth gave me a little trouble here & there... but for the most part I got used to it. I did notice a huge spike in my teeth clenching & migranes, but I figured all of the was from stress from recent events...

Well yes, stress & the fact that I have a giant TOOTH lodging it's way into my JAW!

....Sheesh-la-weese....

So on Thurday, I get to go in for my first ever "Surgery."

& to be honest, I'm absolutely petrified.

I don't do doctors, nurses, or dentists... (hence how this GOT so bad!)
I also do NOT do shots or gas-masks.
i have Waaaaaay to much anxiety & wil actually go into a panic attack.

Fun for me, riiiiiiight?

Yup.

But because my MIL is so awesome, She has set up with her boss
(She works in a dental office) that I will come see him.

Why is this better you ask???

Because instead of Novocaine or Laughing Gas,
to knock me silly on the way there & get me on an IV sedative drip, I get this:

Yea, did I mention THAT will also be a first for me???

Fun times for Hubby.

So if you do not hear from me for a few days, do not fret.
I'm either sleeping, or sitting on the couch drooling wondering who the hell I am.

Don't worry, He has promised to take pictures JUST for all of you.

Yeeeeeay me.

Don't forget to check out this month's MFB!
 Have you joined in on the postcard swap?? Click the button to hop in!!

COMMENTS ...Fixed??

So I've gotten a lot of emails about 

my comment box not working... 

So I've switched it to pop up... to see if that helps...

 

But I'm thinking of switching...

Which comment set-up do you use? 

which do you like the best? 

HELP??!!

Don't forget to check out the newest MFB feature!

 Have you shown us YOUR love??? Click the button to join in!!

 Have you joined in on the postcard swap?? Click the button to hop in!!