Goooood Morning!!

How are you today??Me, i'm wonderful! First time I have woken up easily this early in months! (Must have been the ahhhmazing kisses from my hubby as he left for work! Must have been!)
Now I get to enjoy a wonderfully warm shower while blaring some tunes on the Ol' Cd player...(Gotta love show love to OldSchool ways every now&again!)& then some delicious coffee the hubby brought home from work!(goes perfect with my coffee mug, no?) ;)

 What about you?How do you start YOUR mornings? I wanna know!
Have you joined in on the postcard swap?? I'm fiiiieeeening for new places to post swap with... would love to send to you!Click the button to hop in!!

Have a great day dearies!

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I was supposed to be...a mommy.

(This post was really intended for yesterday, but I couldn't do it. I needed to surround myself with good thoughts, or else fear drowning in despair. Lucky I had family & friends who were willing to stand by my side, & make sure I didn't feel alone.)


"...Say what you need to say... Say what you need to say..."
Today was supposed to be a good day.Today was supposed to be the greatest day of my life.Today was supposed to be the day I became what I was meant to be... Today, is the day, I was supposed to be...a mommy.

MY MISPLACED DREAM
"Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you'd be better off instead,
If you could only . . ."

(breathe Jaimie.... Just Breathe.)


I've heard everyones good thoughts, condolences, prayers...
"Just not your time"
"Everything happens for reason"
"You'll make a great mommy"
"Your day will come"
I know all of this is true. But how am I supposed to explain that to the whole in my heart that refuses to go away? How to I get the pain that washes over me out of nowhere to understand that bullying isn't very nice? 

How do you tell a desperate heart & soul to just... be patient?


"Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open..."
Everyday it gets a little easier.Everyday I breathe a little deeper.Everyday I smile a little wider.Everyday I get a little stronger.Everyday is a new step. 
I'm getting there. I will get better. I know I will never fully move on, but I will not allow this to make my story. I will only allow this to be a chapter in my book. A struggle I needed to overcome on my journey to a greater goal. 
"...Say what you need to say... Say what you need to say..."
I will be a mommy.Just... not today.

Ps - Thank you everyone who has been there for me through all of this. *All of you out there in the bloggerverse, who have sent me smiles & love. I really do appreciate you. I never knew how much it could help! I love you all, Thank you. *SummerBreeze, It was nice to not be alone yesterday. As much as I said I was okay, I know you knew different. I love you, Ying. Thankyou.*Danielle, You've been there everyday for me. Dealing with my ups & downs, being one of my BEST friends & yet, not being afraid to tell me the hard stuff no one wants to say as well. I love you, Thank you.*Ryan, I know this hurt you too. I love you more than anything. I'm sorry that we had to go through this, but I know that in the end this has made or bond even stronger. ( I know that for sure, when your willing to wake up last night & talk with me at 4am cause I don't want to be alone.) What is left? We've been through it all now... NOTHING will ever break us. 
& last but not least, *My OWN Momma. You are breathtakingly amazing. You dont understand the toll you take on me. & right now, I miss you soooooo much. There is nothing that I want more than to just lay my head in your lap while you rub my head the way that only you can. Thank you so much for staying up well past your bedtime just so I could hear your voice. I love you, & I can't WAIT till you come home!

MFB Question of the Week

What is a TV show you are embarrassed to admit you watch?



I don't really GET embarrassed when it comes to shows. I watch what I wanna watch. I watch for MY entertainment... not anyone else's... So in that state of mind, If I wanted to watch BooBah everydamn day then I WILL!!! 
* I HATE BooBah BTW.... & It's one of the few times Mazda actually growls...*
That being said, I do have a few that my dearest & beloved like to TRY to make fun of me for.
The worst ones being:

 What about you???

Now make sure you head over & check Lauren out!v v Click this button!! v v 

 

 

I spy with my little eye...

I'm joining back in on the Hunt! I'm a few days late with these ones... but these are so far some of my FAVORITES that I've taken for the Hunt so far...so i still wanted to share them! I'm quite happy with them :D

(hopefully I can get ahead of the game tomorrow!)

*I posted these pictures over on my photography blog, Pocket Memories.
Click here to head over and read a little background on each photo, 
and follow us there as well for any future photo swaps!*

1. HOT HOT HOT

2. Finding Form

3. Front Page of the News

4. Chore

5. Beads

This weeks prompts:

1. Long Exposure
2. Shape(s)
3. Green
4. Fruit
5. Childhood Memory (Now&Then)

   So Start taking those photos, & getting them ready... And then link up on Sunday over on Ramblings & Photos. (Click the Scavenger Hunt button at the top of this post!) 
Linky is open till Tuesday!

Can't wait to see yours!

 

 Don't forget to check out the newest MFB feature!

 

MFB Question of the Week

* Note = I Cooooompletly Futsed on this week's scheduling & didn't get this question up on Sunday like it was SUPPOSED to be! Sorry Lauren My Dear!!*

Would you rather live where there are tornadoes or hurricanes, and why?

  Though I know that the like for these kind of places seem to be because of he NICE weather.... I don't think I could put up with those downfalls... I think I'll Stay where my worst concern, is RAIN! :D     What about you???   Now make sure you head over & check Lauren out!v v Click this button!! v v