I'm soooo exhausted today.
Really for the last week or so I can barely keep my eyes open. I don't know what is going on with me. But all I want to do is SLEEP. I'm sleeping so much I had to get a large bottle of Tylenol gel caps & some Benefiber to keep my system going! Even small trips up & down the stairs or taking the dogs out for a walk are like marathons.
I feel like I have NO energy EVER.
That seems to be my new catch phrase lately, Oh well.
So I had to go in & see Dr. Rockstar again, for a little bit of a catch-up appointment from last time & for some new symptoms that have popped up... more than likely from the Clomid. While I was there, Dr. Rockstar decided to have me take a blood test to see if I actually ovulated this cycle. I waited a few day to get the results, to see if this had actually worked, or if the dosage needed to be upped. When I didn't hear back after 3 days, & was due to pick up my new prescriptions, I called in to Dr. Rockstar's office. After confirming all my info, I was put on hold while she found my results.
"I'm gonna go ahead & talk to the nurse real quick, it will be just a minute, okay?"
*5 mins pass*
"I'm going to go ahead & put you on with the nurse, okay?"
*3 minutes pass*
"I'm gonna go talk to Dr. Rockstar, real quick, mmkay?"
*Another 5 minutes*
"Yea, still here."
"I'm gonna go ahead & put you on with Dr. Rockstar, hold one more sec.."
At this point I'm no longer just calling casually... I'm sitting rigidly on the edge of my bed, wondering what the hell is going on. Did it not work? Did something show up in my blood work? Are things worse than we thought???
Finally... The calm voice of Dr. Rockstar is on the other end of the line...
"Yes, Hi Dr. Rockstar."
"Well hi Jaimie, So I have good news. We have your test results back and your levels were definitely up! That's good! That means you definitely did ovulate...So w do not need to change the dosage. Now, because of where your at in your cycle... it's still too early to tell, but if you don't start a new cycle spontaneously by the 1st, I want you to go ahead & test for a positive. If it's not, & you still have not started, go ahead & wait a week, & test again, Okay??"
"Jaimie? You there?"
"Yea, yup. Test on the 1st...Yup"
"Okay okay, good...& Jaimie?"
"I've got my fingers crossed."
I was so caught off guard by all of it that I barely remember saying goodbye. I know that it doesn't mean anything yet. I could just have high levels by being at the end of my cycle. I also know I really shouldn't get my hopes up. But catch me off guard why don't ya?!
So now it's all I can think about.
I've already explained to everyone that if we do find out we are, Ryan & I have decided we wont be announcing it till the second trimester. We feel it will just be a little easier that way. But I HAVE to talk to SOMEONE!!! So I'm talking here. I probably wont say much, since I don't know who really even reads this, but I'm going to say a little more here than I do in person.
I NEED a place to unload all of these feelings.
Because I refuse to let them swallow me whole again.
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