BookClub: The Academy Book 1- Introductions

So first of all, I have found a new website called BookBub.com*** where you can sign up for free daily emails that will give you a list of recommended e-books and give them to you at a free or discounted price.  Now originally I thought that had to only be books that nobody's heard of or crap books, but so far I've read some pretty good ones! 

Now BookBub doesn't actually sell you the books, they just alert you for what comes up on popular book store sites like Barnes & Noble, Apple, Amazon & Kindle among others and puts all the great deals you can get together in one place!
 Which is pretty awesome since I go through two or three books in a week.

I decided I would start reviewing some the books here for you all, cause... well why the hell not? I will start with a basic summary & follow with my own thoughts... If you are not interested in the summary which can possibly contain spoilers then just go ahead & skip forward to the "In My Opinion" section of this post. If you do skip the summary because you are going to read the book yourself, please feel free to come back here and share your thoughts! I've always liked the idea of a book club.. :)

Summary:

The first book I read, is called 
The Academy, Book 1 - Introductions 
by C. L. Stone. 

It's the beginning to The Ghost Bird Series. 

In Introductions you met the main character Sang, a young teenage girl just looking for moment of escape from the shut-it life her family forces on her. Her mother, a slightly aggressive & abusive agoraphobe & a father less than interested. When they move into a new neighborhood Sand takes to daily explorations on her own through the woods around her home. During her trips she realizes one of the houses on the street is vacant and gets an idea. One night, Just one night. If she could sneak out of her house and break in to that vacant house, she could have just one free night. So she plans, packs and is ready to go. Successfully sneaks out but is deterred by pouring rain and her mothers words of the world cruelty casting doubt on her choice. Feeling like she's gone this far, with no turning back she sets out towards the vacant house down the street only to be bombarded by a neighbor dog who knocks her to the ground. Sang meets the dog's owner, Kota as he comes to her rescue. She is struck by his kindness and friendliness along with his handsome looks... Along the next few days she meets his large group of good looking friends whom he seems to be leader of the pack:

Victor- impatient and distant but artistic 

Silas- a big Teddy bear

Nathan- the sporty active one 

Gabriel- Very fashionable & witty

Luke- a happy prankster 

North- bad boy with a soft side

While realizing the boys have some kind of secret connection none of them will tell her about, she notices they all become very protective of her. Being very self conscious she assumes the we worst in every situation, feeling their protectiveness is out of pity or guilt. While the boys do their best to involve her in the group and make her feel as one of them, Sang pushes them away. 

When Silas calls her home one night to check on her, the phone call triggers her mothers paranoia since Sang has done everything possible to keep her friendships with the boys a secret. Even though Sang does her best to convince her mother that it was a call from the new school, her mother feels she still needs to punish Sang, to make her understand she must not have men calling her. In punishment, she forces Sang to drink a vinegar and lemon juice concoction, burning Sang's throat so she can't speak for the next few days. 

Finding out what happens the boys become furious, feeling the need to protect Sang from something like this ever happening again. The boys (mostly Kota) help Sang sign up for her new classes at school, making sure that at least one (if not more than one) of the boys is in each of them. While signing up for the classes Sang gets separated from the boys and meets Dr. Green. He seems nice enough and very willing to help. Taking her back to his office to finalize her classes he introduces her to Mr. Blackbourne. Both teachers seem to take a keen interest in the fact that Sang knows Kota and don't seem happy about it. Though Mr. Blackbourne doesn't seem happy about anything. He's more cold and not interested in Sang until he realizes she likes the violin, an interest he shares. When she finally leaves to find the boys she has 3 AP classes including Japanese (which she shouldn't be allowed until the following year) and a seventh class of Violin with Mr. Blackbourne instead of a study class like everyone else. She finds the boys but misunderstands what she overhears them saying and takes it again as them seeing her as a charity case. She returns home without talking to them and refuses to talk to them for days.

When Kota is finally able to get Sang to talk to him, he calms her down and explains that it was not how they felt about her at all. That they all really cared about Sang and hoped that she would continue to be their friend. But along with their friendship Kota explained that he really needed her to understand that they had secrets they couldn't quite share with her... yet. All of the boys are apart of another school called "The Academy" and are sworn to secrecy. It's not that he doesn't want to tell her, but he can't. He just needs Sang to trust them. After thinking about it and realizing that she has her own things she is not willing to share with the boys about her own life quite yet, she realizes she can live with not knowing their secrets as well. And now she has friends.. exactly what she never knew she wanted until she had it! Now the question is how long will she be okay not knowing...



In My Opinion:


I really liked this book a lot more than I thought I would!
 I realize that essentially the book was just a set-up for the rest of the series, with no real story line.. but I was okay with it. The detailed meeting of the characters got me invested into each one individually before introducing them as a group. Showing each personality on its own before showing the "pack dynamic." When together, the group is exciting and always moving, flowing to and fro almost seamlessly. I worry that Sang might be moving from one form of over control to another, but I don't feel that the latter will be as unhealthy or unsafe as the first. More I feel the boys will be solace, a saving grace for Sang. I will have to keep reading to see...



The next book:
The Academy, Book 2 - First Days
by C. L. Stone.


 

*** All the Views and opinions expressed here are solely my own. 
I was not asked or compensated in any way to write this post.

Friends cure all

Need a recap of what I'm talking about? read HERE.

Pt.4
Friends cure all

With as much calmness as could be expected, I walked in to the living room with Ryan and sat down on the couch across from him.

 "Baby, We really need to talk. Something is different, off between us. I've felt it for awhile.. please be honest with me. Are you seeing someone else?"

"No."

One word. One simple syllable. Like this was a normal conversation of me asking if he wanted eggs with his pancakes.

"Okay. If you say no, then I believe you. Then we need to talk about the app I found on your phone, Kik? Why do you have that?"

"I use it to talk to a few of my friends, mostly people at work.. you know, John, Andrew, Tori, Adrian..."
 

This sounded reasonable enough. They had done this before, used apps to talk at work like "Voxer." So I am just over reacting..

But little alarms were going off in my brain. Telling me I wasnt paying attention, that I had missed something. Something Vital. Something he had said.


"..you know, John, Andrew, Tori, Adrian..."

Wait, Tori? My Tori? My bestfriend? 
Had I not just spent an over an hour talking to her about this whole situation?
I'm positive I had asked her about it, what had she said?

"What's it called? kik? hmm, I've never heard if that. yea that is weird." 
 
Why did everything feel so wrong.

Ryan must have noticed the change in my face, the realization that he had said something that struck a chord. He began to back peddle. We don't use it often, it was just something new, thought I would give it a try...

But I wasn't listening.

"Jaimie, why are you making that face, what did I say?"
 "You talk to Tori on Kik?"
"Yes?"
"Hmm."
"Why? Whats wrong with that?"


Why had she lied? Straight out lied? 
My mind was racing with possibilities to counter the deep dark feeling that was blooming deep inside my gut. No. No way. There HAS to be an explanation.

"Well I was just talking to Tori and I mentioned it to her and I could have sworn she said she had never heard of it, but maybe she heard me wrong.. or I heard her wrong."

There was a beat of awkward silence, and then a scramble..
"Wait wait, hunny. Not Tori, YOUR Tori. Tori that I work with!"

As I start to calm down I vaguely remember mention of a new girl named Tori

"Oh, okay. That makes sense, I guess. I understand why your talking to all the boys, they work with you, but isn't she a temporary machine operator? Why are you messaging with her?"

 Why do I care? It's just talking right? What is this awkward nagging at the back of my brain? It's just texting! You have scolded some of your closest friends for overreacting about a text, let it go!

And I tried. I really did. 
I even called Tori the next day to laugh about how I thought for half a second SHE was having an affair with my husband! Ridiculous. I must be losing my damn mind. 

I needed my friend. 
I had been in Spokane for a few months at that point and the only other adult I ever saw was either my father-in-law on a random occasion, or Ryan. I needed girl time.

I knew Tori had also been having a hard time with her husband, & decided to use her need for a little space to my advantage.

"Please come see me? Pleease! I am going crazy, I need some centering. I have a spare room, with a comfy bed. I have been storing toys for Linnie the whole time I've been here. Bring the babe, come enjoy some sun, we will go play up at the cabin, we will BBQ, it will be a blast. PLEASE?!"

After very little convincing, she agreed. We planned on going back to the Seattle area for a local town carnival, so we would talk about it then. While at the carnival, I was able (with help from Ryan) to convince Tori that she really did want to come to Spokane for a little bit. She finally agreed & a plan was set in motion that Ryan would drive back to Seattle at the end of the week early morning Friday, pick Tori up from work and drive her to pick up her daughter. Then They would immediately turn around and head back to Spokane so that she could spend that night, and the whole next day with me before Ryan would drive them back home that night, immediately turning around and driving home. It was a butt-load of driving for Ryan, but he seemed more than happy to do it insisting that he really enjoyed the drive & that it was worth it for me to see my friend who he knew I missed terribly. 

I was more than grateful, and having Tori there even for that short period of time was very relieving. We talked & laughed, stayed up way to late. Ate junk food, and talked about EVERYTHING that was going on between Ryan & I. All my doubts and fears. It was so nice to finally have someone to cry to face-to-face.The next day we took them out to our cabin on the lake. 

But Ryan was still off. Even more so around Tori. 
At the lake is where I really noticed it. 

"Come swim babe! Come Swim with Kai & I!" 
But all I would get is grumbles & grunts. 
"I really don't want to babe. I don't want to swim right now."

I was discouraged. Not wanting to cry in front of my friend while floating in a tube on the lake with my baby, I reluctantly waded back to shore, offering Tori to take Linnie out in the tube. After helping them get situated and sending them out, I went up to sit on the dock with Ryan. I really just wanted to relax in the sun with him & enjoy myself, but he was cold, distant. I tried to lighten the mood by teasing Linnie, to which Ryan joined in. When Linnie made a comment assuming Ryan would retaliate by jumping in to get her, I was surprised when that was exactly what he did! 
Did he not just say he did not want to swim? 
It must have been in the moment, right? 

When he stayed in the water swimming along with Tori & Linnie, laughing & joking like it was the best vacation ever I became uncomfortable. Did he really want to be away from me that badly? Was the idea of sitting with his son & wife that unwanted that he would do the very thing he didn't want to just to get away from us? What is going on? 

And the same thing happened the rest of the day. Ryan avoiding me & Kai, choosing to be closer to Linnie & Tori. I was really confused, so I just avoided the situation.. Acting like I didn't notice. After Ryan left to take them home, I put Kai to bed & cried. 

And cried.

I cried like I had never cried before. 
I was losing him.
What was I going to do?


(To be continued...)

Listen to your gut

Need a recap of what I'm talking about? read HERE.

Pt.3
Listen to your gut

Feeling lost and confused I had the same reaction most women would:
I once again turned to my best friend. pouring my heart and soul to her..

"Something is different. Something is wrong"

But she assured me it was just my imagination. That I was just looking for reasons to worry. everything was just fine & if I would just act normal, he would act normal. 

"You don't understand, I KNOW him. Something is different..."

And then I said it. Out loud. 
My worst fears put to words, no longer just lingering thoughts in my head.

"I think he might be seeing someone."

I needed to know her thoughts. I needed her to look at it from both sides so she could point out something I maybe wasn't seeing..

Now I feel like I should state that Ryan & I had had an "open relationship" for the better part of our relationship before our marriage. We had never called it off after the wedding, but had more or less gave it a break of sorts. It just had never come back up again. But along with openness comes rules.. and the trust to not break those rules.

1. Be safe
2. Be honest & keep communication open
3. Don't fall in love.

I really don't care if Ryan sleeps with someone else. I really don't. 
Sex is sex. its normal, natural. Part of our animalistic DNA. 
The part that separates us from lions and bears is the ability to choose to be loyal. Loyalty to me is not the same as it might be to you.
 (my thoughts on why saved for another day) 
Loyalty is sticking to the rules. 3 easy rules.

The problem was, I was pretty certain that
 our mutually accepted rules were not being respected. 
And of that I was terrified.

Because unfortunately, loyalty & trust are not easily received from me. it took Ryan an entire year to trust him enough to say we would stay together. To say whole-heartedly that I loved him. a whole year. Even after that i was skeptical.. but Ryan stayed true..

Until now.
I was sure of it.

"Oh I don't know Jaimie. That doesn't sound like Ryan. Why would he do that. He's never even looked at another girl that way, why do you think he would do that now? I think your over reacting.."

But I knew she was wrong. I knew it in my gut.

So I began to look for proof. I would call her daily with examples to why I was right. His texts being deleted all of the sudden. His phone call history wiped as well. He was taking longer to come home. quicker to leave. What was going on?

And then I found the app "kik" on his phone.

Ryan doesn't download new apps unless they are games. Why in the world does he have a private chatting app on his phone? So I began to snoop..

I know its untrustworthy and wrong, but I was determined.

After stopping myself from making a fake profile to text him with, 
instead I called my Tori.

"What do you make of this? weird, right?"
"What's it called? kik? hmm, I've never heard if that. yea that is weird."

After talking for an hour or so with her coming up with ideas for could be scenarios, who it could be and boosting my self up, I finallywent inside to ask him about it. 
Screw it. 
I was done beating around the bush and all the sneakiness. If he was lying, I was going to confront him and give him the opportunity to explain himself..

 (To be continued..)

Don't forget to check out
my photo blog Pocket Memories

Changes

Need a recap of what I'm talking about? read HERE.

Pt.2
Changes

I tried to let it go, the weird feeling pawing the back of my mind that something had changed. Chalked it up to the evil postpartum messing with my head and tried to move on, but that feeling steadily grew. I did everything in my power to start being better towards him, happier, more loving... and I was! I started feeling better, losing the feelings of angst or disgust. No longer wanting distance but beginning to relish in the love that I was sure was still there and appreciate the little family we had created. I would get up and make his lunch everyday, see him out the door with kisses, make sure the house was kept and clean when he returned. showered him with appreciation for sticking with me through such a difficult time. 

Even with all the good, I started to notice more and more not so subtle changes.. his clothes, his hair, his personal hygiene even. He would rush out the door for work without a glance back, not answer my calls if i tried. He even started regularly passing up our lunchtime call to hang out with a "buddy" of his. Now in a normal relationship that might seem common.. but in all the time Ryan & I had been together, we ALWAYS talked on lunch breaks. Since it was only once a week I tried to ignore the feeling that it was out of character & just figure that he was starting to become closer with a friend at work. I was happy for him! 

But on a few occasions when I would call with a question or text something about Kai he would ignore me.. only to call me back a few minutes later stating his "didn't hear" his phone. For anyone who MEETS my husband, he is perpetually attached to his phone. Always looking something up on the internet or searching through pictures of cars he has saved or playing some mobile game."Didn't hear" just didn't happen.

And then he began to pull away. Became distant. 

Gave halfway hugs & avoided kisses.

I began to worry. 

Again I turned to my best friend. 

"I'm not sure Jaimie, that does seem odd. 
You did do the same thing to him not long ago though... 
maybe he's just upset and being vindictive."

I guess that was possible, but not at all like him. 

Ryan was not a passive-aggressive kind of guy. 

More and more I noticed I just didn't have his attention in most things. He always seemed off in another world. When he was present, he was very grumpy, & cold. Then i noticed the secrecy. He would get up and leave the room to walk the dog, get socks, go to the bathroom..and always take his phone. weird, but not crazy. It was when I would walk into the room where he was I would notice the phone being quickly shut off and tucked away, only to be pulled back out immediately after I left. If he needed to check the phone while in the room with me where he couldn't leave, he would turn his entire body an awkward position away or hold his phone down in a weird position so that the screen wasn't visible.

Again, I understand this might seem normal to some, but with 11 years behind us. Always with open nonjudgmental lines of honesty & trust, this was incredibly odd. 

I was really starting to worry.

(to be continued..)

Pineapple Chicken Skewers

Pineapple Chicken Skewers

*As seen on Parents.com*

These Polynesian-style skewers are a great make-ahead appetizer for any occasion!

Servings: 32  
Prep Time: 15 Mins
Chill Time: 6 hours or overnights
Cook Time: 10 Mins
Broil Time: 9 Mins 
 

Ingredients:

• 1 can (14 ounces) pineapple chunks packed in juice

• 1/3 cup  ketchup

• 2 tablespoons  crystallized ginger, minced

• 2 cloves garlic, minced

• 1 jalapeno chile, seeded and minced

• 1/2 teaspoon  salt

• 3 tablespoons  white vinegar

• 1 tablespoon  light teriyaki sauce

• 4 boneless skinless chicken breast halves (about 5 ounces each)

• 4 scallions, cut in 1-inch lengths (including some of the green)

Steps:

1. Drain pineapple, reserving juice. Set chunks aside. In a small bowl, combine drained pineapple juice, ketchup, crystallized ginger, garlic, jalapeno, salt, vinegar and teriyaki sauce; stir to mix thoroughly.

2. Cut chicken into 32 equal-size pieces. Place in a plastic resealable bag; add pineapple juice mixture. Seal and shake to combine. Refrigerate at least 6 hours or overnight.

3. Use small skewers; if they are wooden, soak in a bowl of cold water for at least 30 minutes. Drain chicken, reserving marinade. Place drained marinade in a nonstick saucepan; cook over high heat until reduced to a thick glaze, about 10 minutes. Let cool.

4. Place 1 chicken piece, 2 scallion pieces and a pineapple chunk on end of each skewer. Brush with a little of the glaze; repeat, using remaining ingredients. Can be assembled several hours ahead, covered with plastic wrap and refrigerated.

5. Heat broiler. Coat broiler pan with nonstick cooking spray. Place skewers on prepared pan, brush again and broil for 4 minutes, turn, brush with remaining glaze and broil 5 more minutes or until lightly browned. Serve warm or at room temperature.

 Original post as seen HERE