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Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Sunny days.. Chasing my clouds away...


This is what I woke up to this morning:


Isn't that beautiful?

it made me feel so great. the sun, the cool breeze, my little duckies saying good morning.


I've missed this feeling.

I hadn't been doing so great lately. 
The last week or so has definitely 
been one of the harder ones. 

Its weird..i never know when its going to happen. 

The clenched stomach...the achy heart...the emptiness..
the emotional roller coaster of sadness and depression. 

I think I'm getting better... I feel like things might be ok... 
And then BAM! 
It hits me. 

I see the few baby things I have tucked away... 
I hear a song...
even every now and again when I'm holding Annaise... 
 It will start up. 

The pain.

Deep down, in the very basement of my soul... But its there. 

I can't help it.

Its so often it has me looking
...reaching... longing ...yearning... 
for something... anything 

to allow me just 5 minutes away from the constant beatings these thoughts make inside my head. 

I keep going. I keep trying to enjoy my day. 

I WILL get better. 
I WILL win this fight. 

& even thought I know my words & thoughts 
have been a little dark lately

...bear with me... 

Its amazing how a little sun can go along way...
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3 comments:

Amanda Moury said...

Thinking of you my friend, you will get through this. Soak up these happy, sunny days :) xoxo

Clark family said...

I love you girl! I know it doesnt seem like it but you will make it through! You are a very strong and beautiful woman! Just remember you have a lot of people behind you!

LegosInMyPocket said...

Thank you guys.. you all are more help & support than you even realize. Even just little resposes like this help me remember to smile.. thank you so much. :)

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