Tylenol? Earplugs? Maybe a Margarita??

 Damn, my headache is back.

I've been brainstorming what to write about for the last few hours, hitting a mental roadblock. As I sit here staring at the screen willing the words to come to me I listen to my son wail over the monitor on the table beside me. It's been like this for the last few nights. He goes down beautifully. Brushes his teeth, gathers his things, gets pj's on & climbs in bed. We read a story or two, and then I turn on his music &  he falls asleep with no issues.  

It's been bliss.

But about an hour or so after he will awake with a piercing scream.

I don't rush in, because I know he's ok but get to him as fast as I can. To which he will hold up his arms for comfort. I hug him to calm him down, and he immediately ceases screaming. He cuddles close as I wipe away tears & begins to fall asleep right away. 

I wait a few minutes & then attempt to lay him back down but as soon as he notices the shift in my body he goes straight and stiff, wailing once more. Holding his legs out like he has full charlie-horses in both at the same time, unwilling to re-bend them. At this point he essentially becomes inconsolable. 

Sometimes I try to cuddle again. Sometimes I try to wait it out.

And then there are other times, like tonight... that I just can't listen to the close proximity screaming any longer. Those times are when (after many warnings) I kiss him on the forehead, tell him I love him & remove myself from the room. 

Of course this causes a full on meltdown.

I busy myself. Laundry. Dishes. Straightening. Dusting.

My house has never been so clean.

But the wailing continues.

I will go in after awhile, when the screams begin to die down, ask him if he wants to cuddle. Sometimes it works... Other times he begins to play around, bobbing his head or kicking his feet. This is when I will again kiss him on the head, & leave the room.

Another. Meltdown.

And it goes on & on like this for hours until eventually I either give up and go lay in bed in my own bed with him (which still can take hours & turns me into a half-functioning zombie) or I just finally let him up, thus throwing off his entire schedule.
 Like that is not going to happen anyways.

I'm at a loss.

I know this is normal behavior. I know it's just a phase.
But by god am I EXHAUSTED.

I've thought about investing in a multitude of earplugs & coffee,
 but I'm just not sure it's going to help.

Help? Ideas? Backup?
Someone to tag in and take a shift while I take a spa day?

No?!

-_-


Damn.

Aaaaand he's out of bed again. He's out the bedroom door and at my side with big sweet eyes before I can do anything and offering me his blankie & a book.

Guess we wont be going back to bed anytime soon.

 
Double damn.

My Tiny Place

Recently, someone I consider a friend 

(even if over 2,000 miles away and only through the internet) 

took a look at her life through her blog and realized the lifespan of her writing there had come to an end. Not in a negative way, but just, her life and writing had moved on from what was originally planned there. All her blogging goals accomplished.

 

Even though I knew it was coming (I was messaging her while she was writing it) I still had tears in my eyes the entire time I read her post. I "met" her in the beginning of her blog and have kept up with her over the span of the last 5 years.

 

She has been through so much, and come out changed for the better at the end. Stronger. More vibrant & filled with purpose in the form of her beautiful baby girl. As I read through her memories of past posts, reading some I needed refreshments of and not even needing to click others knowing to which she's referring EXACTLY I began to reflect on my life. In her self reflection she has caused me to look at myself the same way.

 

Have I grown? 

 

Have I changed for the better?

 

Have I learned anything here?

 

I know I'm nowhere ready for "The End" of this space, but I feel like I need to bring it back around to myself, rather than empty space-filling posts. Somewhere last year I forgot this was my space of reflection. My place to write down all my feelings in an unabashed, unfiltered light. My own "Tiny Place."

 

*For those other Dino-train parents out there, that one's for you!*

 

I have felt this way for awhile... the only problem was that a lot had happened the past year. A lot of things I hadn't quite gotten past.. let go of. 

 

 

It was like coming to a giant tree across the path I needed to take.

 

I tried to sit & wait for it to take care of itself, or for someone else to fix it for me.

I tried to just live with the tree. learning to thrive along with it.

 I tried to walk around it, or climb over it only to find out

that it's the biggest, thickest, never ending Redwood...

 

The only thing left to do, work my way THROUGH it. 

 

So that's exactly what I did.

 I put the major bits of My Story down in here. 

 

It was hard.

It was painful.

 

It was cathartic.

 

The best release I've felt in ages.

I feel like now it's "back to our normal scheduled programming."

 Like I can go about my life finally able to breathe again. 

So I'm not going anywhere yet, I still have a lot of growing to do.

Change is imminent.

 

This space helps me do just that. 

It heals me.

Oh, no... this is Earth... isn't it?

What better way to jump back into blogging than with a fresh holiday helping of




Yes Ma'am! & ofcourse, being that it is the beginning of the week 
we will be starting things off RIGHT. 

You all know how I feel about starting things on Mondays... 

Today will be dedicated to one of the most, delectable, fantastic, perfectly chiseled, wonderfully scruffy, godly powered, golden haired Aussie that there is.

That's right, you know who he is.

via

Chris. Hemsworth.

I mean, duh. Right?

via


 Long hair, short hair.. 
It doesn't seem to make a difference on this guy.

via



Suit & Tie? 
Yes please.
  

via                                                                                      via



Scruff McGruff Country Boy?
Yummy. 

via



And seriously, those eyes tho.

via


No wonder he is People's Sexiest Man Alive this year...


 via


I mean really..... duh. Right?

via                                                                                     via

(And for those un-seasoned female readers:)
 Too old you say? I don't like his hair, I hate his scruff...

*Pssssssssssssst!*

Even though I might think your NUTS... I feel obliged to inform you. 
This wonderfully beautiful piece of perfection does come
 in a younger, slightly less scruffy version... his brother Liam:

via
        
Your welcome.
Now go enjoy your day, you've earned it.

Like a breath of fresh air

So I'm not going to lie, writing the entire story down from start to finish was a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. 

But I'm SO glad that I did. 

It was like closing a chapter. As I wrote that last paragraph I felt a weight lifted from me. It was all bottled up inside me for so long, but now.. its gone, & I can breathe again.

*sigh*

It feels nice.

Thank you to those who stuck with me through that, I know it was long and irritating. Trust me, it was the same for me.

I wasn't even posting links to my blog on the blog Facebook page because I have so many friends & family who would see it and at this point, I don't need it fresh on any of their minds for the holidays. 

That said, I'm not hiding anything. It's there if anyone wants to read it. 

I'm just not going to start a conversation with it.

My life is finally going back to normal.
I'm happy.
I'm at peace.

This was good for my soul.

Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

Did any of you watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade this year?

We did. It was Kai's first time.. Man did he love it!
What I wouldn't give to be able to take him someday..

Here are some of our favorites from the Snapchat Feed:

 

 

Happy Thanksgiving!