Tuesday, December 9, 2014

My Tiny Place


(even if over 2,000 miles away and only through the internet) 
took a look at her life through her blog and realized the lifespan of her writing there had come to an end. Not in a negative way, but just, her life and writing had moved on from what was originally planned there. All her blogging goals accomplished.
 
Even though I knew it was coming (I was messaging her while she was writing it) I still had tears in my eyes the entire time I read her post. I "met" her in the beginning of her blog and have kept up with her over the span of the last 5 years.
 
She has been through so much, and come out changed for the better at the end. Stronger. More vibrant & filled with purpose in the form of her beautiful baby girl. As I read through her memories of past posts, reading some I needed refreshments of and not even needing to click others knowing to which she's referring EXACTLY I began to reflect on my life. In her self reflection she has caused me to look at myself the same way.
 
Have I grown? 
 
Have I changed for the better?
 
Have I learned anything here?
 
I know I'm nowhere ready for "The End" of this space, but I feel like I need to bring it back around to myself, rather than empty space-filling posts. Somewhere last year I forgot this was my space of reflection. My place to write down all my feelings in an unabashed, unfiltered light. My own "Tiny Place."
 
*For those other Dino-train parents out there, that one's for you!*
 
I have felt this way for awhile... the only problem was that a lot had happened the past year. A lot of things I hadn't quite gotten past.. let go of. 
 
 
It was like coming to a giant tree across the path I needed to take.
 
I tried to sit & wait for it to take care of itself, or for someone else to fix it for me.
I tried to just live with the tree. learning to thrive along with it.
 I tried to walk around it, or climb over it only to find out
that it's the biggest, thickest, never ending Redwood...
 
The only thing left to do, work my way THROUGH it. 
 
So that's exactly what I did.
 I put the major bits of My Story down in here. 
 
It was hard.
It was painful.
 
It was cathartic.
 
The best release I've felt in ages.
I feel like now it's "back to our normal scheduled programming."
 Like I can go about my life finally able to breathe again. 

So I'm not going anywhere yet, I still have a lot of growing to do.
Change is imminent.
 
This space helps me do just that. 
It heals me.



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