I feel lost and confused not quite sure what I want to do right now.
I feel stuck like nothing seems to change.
My brain is full of thoughts that I don't feel are safe to say out loud... or even to write.
Money
is definitely tight and my medical bills just keep piling up. And after
working with the dentist and my insurance companies for the last two
months I find out that I now have to pay $2300 upfront to get my wisdom
teeth pulled. And that's just for the anesthesia that won't be covered
by my insurance.
Are you kidding? How am I supposed to come up with
$2300?!
And definitely not in the timeframe I was hoping since I'm
planning on starting school in March... Of course.
So
now I just have to set my mind to getting school started in finding a
part-time job so I can help with some of these bills. On top of all
that, we have so many doctors appointments scattered here and there
while they try to find out WHY I can't seem to get pregnant again.
Through
all of this my closest friend, and soulmate Summer is going through
troubles of her own, battling some pretty tricky demons. I'm trying my
best to be the best friend that I can but I just can't seem to find it
in me to be there for her the way she needs me. I'm trying I really am,
but I feel like she's doing things I can't agree with. Making choices
she knows are wrong.
Like touching that hot stove one more time,
even though you know it's going to burn again... but just maybe it won't.
I'm
way too protective of her and can't watch her be hurt again and again
and again, while just standing by and watching. That's just not how I
work. So I have told her how I feel, hopefully she understands and
doesn't hate me too much. I just have to step back and let her do things
her way, and figure things out on her own. I just love her too much.
...But I do miss her...
Ryan
is so sleepy since he's been working his butt off doing 12 hour shifts.
We pretty much only see each other on his days off. Thankfully he gets
an extra day off every other week, so that works out nicely! Hopefully
things start to look up and figure themselves out, I really think we all
could use the breather-break.
Don't forget to check out 366 Pages
1 picture & 1 simple thought for each day this year.Today's photo:
Page 12 of 366 - Gonna play Where's Waldo with my left ovary.
