Sunday, January 23, 2011

...I never even saw it coming


I have never been so insulted. So angry. So disrespected. So hurt. So DONE.

In the wee hours of last night I was completely and unexpectedly knocked down  and spit upon mentally in a way that I thought never possible. 

On top of the fact that I never thought the person doing the knocking would ever be capable. 
At least, not to me...

This person who I love.
This person who I trust.
This person who is my heart & soul.
This person who I have stood by no matter what.
This person who I would have gone to the end of the world for...

Such simple thoughts strung into acidly stinging words that will 
forever be burned  into my memories.

Words you can never take back.

No matter what you do, or what you say,
You can never undo what you did.

Because I heard you
loud & clear.

& you protect her?
Jump up & throw yourself in the middle for her?
After everything SHE has done to YOU??

I can't do it any more.

The hurt was caused.
The pain was felt.
but there are no tears.

Not anymore.

As I sit here writing...
Writing because i have no clue anymore as to how to get my feelings into thoughts & out of my head any other way.. I write this & I feel such a strong mix of emotions towards you.  Feeling like I have wasted SO much of my time, doing everything I was able to for you.

Wave after wave of overpowering, anger, fear, sadness

...and hate...

but there are no tears.


Not for you.


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7 comments:

  1. I hope everything's OK in the PocketLegos house. I'm here if you need to vent or talk. Hope things get better soon! I'll say a prayer for you tonight at church.

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  2. Jaimie, I hope everything is ok this post made me so sad :( Please email me if you need to talk... thinking of you...

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  3. Everything is okay at home.. its no one from the house that im referring to. Thank you for the good thoughts Sarah. :)

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  4. Good, glad to hear that. I hope things get better with whoever it is. :D

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  5. I am so sorry Jaimie! Please know if you need to vent or just chat I am here! I agree with Amanda it made me mad to read that some one has hurt you like that!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you girl!

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