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Sunday, October 31, 2010

Personal Hiatus

More like a personal breakdown

Okay

...I know I have not updated in QUITE awhile...
& this one is going to be pretty Short&Sweet

*I am working on some backdated posts for you guys, its just taking longer than expected.*

Here is a QUICK update:
(Keep in mind I have been bleeding from 9-30-10 till present day...& still going)
  1.  10-4-10 ~ I took 2 HPT and found out I was pregnant.
  2. 10-5-10 ~ I went in to my doctors, and got the pregnancy confirmed! Blood tests for how far along...
  3. 10-6-10 ~ My doctor called with results for a one month along pregnancy! But some concerns...
  4.  10-11-10 ~ Melissa went in for an aversion. Did NOT work..incredibly painful...Schedule C-Section.
  5. 10-12-10 ~ Second blood draw with my doctor for concerns.
  6. 10-13-10 ~ Doctor called with results, Lower numbers = Positive for miscarriage.  I've lost the baby.
  7. 10-18-10 ~ Annaise Marie Winters is Born! @ 8:05 am - 8lbs 9oz 19 inches long.
  8. 10-19-10 ~ My Doctor reconfirms my miscarriage. Asks me to schedule an exam when I'm ready...
  9. 10-20-10 ~ Though baby has lost weight, Melissa & Niecie (Annaise) are released from hospital.
  10. 10-22-10 ~ Niecie's first doctors Appt. She's Gained a little weight!! :)
  11. 10-22-10 ~ I call & notify DSHS & WIC of my miscarriage. WIC lady asks for paper proof. :(
  12. 10-25-10 ~ I set Appt for November 3rd for an exam.. Dr. is worried I might be anemic...                 *I have wanted nothing but sleep. No food or water, no company, just sleep...& I'm losing weight.*
  13. 10-26-10 ~ Niecie has 2nd doctors appt. Still gaining weight, but has serious boil on neck.             *Dr. Paretsky sends us to Swedish Hospital Emergency Room*
  14. 10-26-10 ~ Niecie is addmitted to Swedish hospital with a staph infection & jaundice.

And that is where we are at so far...

Annaise is still in the hospital, but is way better. 

As for me?
Well, I'll let you know as soon as I figure that one out...



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Wednesday, October 13, 2010

(Semi) Wordless *UPDATE* Wednesday

UPDATE:
Ryan & I unfortunatly did lose the baby.. Its okay... We will be okay.. it will just take some time...
 Meanwhile, here is somethings to help us smile:
_________________________________________________________



They wanted to try out the toys.. for "Safety" :)




The Most delicious (should-have-been-grilled) Sammich EVER




...Her tummy looks SO fake...






*Battle of the Boots!*

"Shoeing the Horse" - they just would NOT go on!




One of the MANY Babies'R' Us Creepies




~The Demise of Ryan's Favorite Fan~





Trip to Seattle With LiL Sis

The GUM WALL   (..Yuck..)



&& lots of NESTING :)
(Mazds is sooo confused here)




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Saturday, October 9, 2010

God? Are you there??

These last few days have been a test.
A test of strength, a test of patience,
a test of faith.


Normally i'm not a very religous person... not that I don't believe in God. I do... I was just wasnt raised incredibly religous... Ryan & I have even talked about starting to go to church once we decided we wanted a baby...

but with  everything thats happened in the last 5 days I find myself turning to "the big-guy-in-the-sky" day after day... moment after moment...

*If your not caught up on the recent, read THIS, then, I'll fill you in on the rest.*

So now I'm sitting here in bed, where I have been ALL day.. (Hubby, Melissa, AND my Momma, have put me on bed rest) ..just waiting for Wednesday to get here quickly. I went in on Thursday and met Dr. Kim (LOVE HER!) and she decided with all of my symptoms, she wanted a blood draw. she was going to do a full pre-natal work-up and get my hCG levels.. along with that she could tell me (about) how far along I was, since I was still NOT in agreeance with the 2 weeks the previous nurse I spoke to came up with.  But along with all of that good stuff she went on to explain the more serious reason for the blood draw...

"There is no reason to panic, but I want to take your levels today, and then again in a week, to make sure you arnt possibly experiencing a misscariage..."

Excuse me?
 I was really thinking we were past that. My heart sank.

I cried all the way to the lab tech's room, all the way home, and most of the rest of the day, when I wasn't sleeping. (which is why it has taken me so long to actually want to sit and write anything.) I was physically, and emotionally drained.  And to make things worse, that night @ about 9pm-ish I had the worst cramps imaginable... the ONLY thing I could do to calm them down was take a bath... (and AGAIN @ 4am when I woke up crying)
She's also going to test for a UTI or bladder infection, but right now, I could care less.

God, PLEASE don't take my baby... PLEASE let my baby be okay...

I've even found myself bartering in the back of my mind.. making promises left and right in the hopes of things turning out right.
Dr. Kim did call me yesterday morning and said that my level was at 400, which is right around what it should be 4 weeks pregnant. (I THOUGHT so!) but we arn't out of the woods yet, because she dosnt know if thats on its way up or down.

...& so we wait...

Even though I try not to think about it, I try not to worry.. thats all I seem to do. 
Once again, thank GOD I have Melissa.
She has again proven to be a wonderful distraction. :)

We FINALLY have a date set for LiL Niecie (Annaise) to be here! 

*Monday, October 18th, 2010*

We are all SO excited.. I think Melissa is just relieved.
(She's about ready for the pregnancy to just be over!)

For now that is all that is new... I will definitely keep updating as much as I can...hopefully bright and early Wednesday morning... with GOOD news.


oh God, Please give me good news.



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Thursday, October 7, 2010

Is the Baby Okay??

I think I felt my heart fall from my chest today.

..or at least, it tripped..

After meeting with the doctor and getting the pregnancy confirmed, I was not quite in agreement about how far along she thought I was. (this was not Dr. Paretsky, but just a nurse in the office) She didn't want to listen, and only wanted to use her little paper wheel and go by my last period to tell me a due date... only problem? my periods have been way irregular since i was 13 and if you go by my last period, that means that im only a week or two along... and that the sperm just HAPPENED to LIVE in me for oh... about 3 weeks before actually getting me preggers....

hmm.. i don't think so.

So after Melissa's appointment today with Dr. Paretsky I asked her if I could run this by her. She agrees with me that Im probably further along than 2 weeks... but when she heard I was also bleeding... STILL.. after two weeks.. her face dropped. 

After that its all a blur really.. "High risk" and "miscarriage" kept being said & I just kept zoning out...

Thank god Melissa was there with me. 

I called my mom once we left and broke down... "Mom, I'm scared." 

She immediately told me it was okay, and told me she didn't care, she would be with me tomorrow at the ASAP appointment that had been scheduled. 
"No matter what baby, we'll get through this, I love you." 

Even though it didn't fix how I was feeling.. it sure helped just to hear her say that.

So I have that appointment tomorrow after We go see Dr. Cole to schedule Melissa's C-section,
(Her aversion didn't work at all!) and get everything all set up for that. 

*We went in for Melissa's aversion on Monday.. and it was horrible! She was in so much pain! I've never seen her so upset!! I had to just hold her hand and try to help her breathe.. it was really kinda scary...*

At the end of the day Mom called to check on me and see how everything was going, and when she heard I was calmer, she told me her thoughts. Last week I had a UTI and she was almost 99% positive that was still the problem. She's sure the baby is okay... 
(my mom is an LPN) I had to ask her 2 times if she was sure.
"Hunny, earlier I was so scared, I wasn't thinking. I wasn't in nurse mode, I was in mommy mode... once I calmed down and looked back at things.. I realized I really  think we have nothing to worry about"

That makes it a little easier to breathe. 

We are still going in to see the doctor tomorrow to double check and make sure, 
but I can sleep a little easier (& Ryan can stop stressing out...he's gonna rub my belly button off!) if I believe everything is okay. 

Will update tomorrow.
Say a little prayer for baby.

Did you ever have any Pregnancy scares??
Tell me about it...tell me I'm not alone?

_______________________________________________

Anthony and Melissa thought it would be nice to get my mind off things with fun pictures of my belly for the "Meet the Family" page. 



Since we don't know what baby is yet, they got creative...
This was my favorite:



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Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Wordless Wednesday!



I just got this fortune no more than month ago...thought it was cute & took this picture. I <3 when the universe speaks ;)


Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.0

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

I'm what?! Can I get that in writing please?!

Something BIG has happened. Something I didn't even see coming...

I haven't been feeling good the last few days, been resting a lot, had some other symptoms that started throwing me off a bit, so I called my mom.

"you don't think.." "no sweetie." "Okay, worth a shot right?"

I've been hoping for so long for SOMETHING to happen, that almost any little change will make me immediately assume the possibility.

But even after talking to mom, I wasn't sure.

Normally I do not question my mother, her judgment on these kinda things are always pretty sound, but I just had to make sure... so I took a test...



Yup, That's right!

I could not believe it when I saw it! I actually jumped off the toilet so fast and ran to grab Melissa just to make sure I wasn't seeing things! (I wasn't even sure if I wiped... ) I was so frazzled. Everyone in the house came running to see what was wrong, & why I was so frantic. Ryan, Melissa, and Anthony, all coming in to find me in nothing but my chonies, (chonies = undies, i had been sleeping, woke up to potty) freaking out. They ALL thought I was upset cause there was a spider in the tub. (I kept pointing to the bathtub)

Nope! Guess again!
No spider, just a really unexpected plus sign!
So I went into the doctors today to have it confirmed. yup! I'm Preggo! They aren't quite sure how far along I am, since my periods are so irregular. if we go by my last "period" (which we don't know was a real period) then I'd only be about a week or two along... which I think is too early. So I'm going by the last time we had sex before my period, which is Sept. 7th. (Yea, I keep track.) 
I'm pretty sure I'm about a month along...


Already?! I can't even believe it.. its still not real... I feel like I'm gonna wake up any minute and this will all be a dream. 

Not to say I'm not Ecstatic!



Yea, I'm one of THOSE ladies.. the ones who love EVERYTHING about it.. haha
Melissa caaaan't wait. she gives it another month before I change THAT tune.. ;)

(I will add a Belly picture later tonite!)
*Though I know there isn't much there other than FatGirl Fluff* :)

This is Melissa & I telling Our Bestfriend Summer, 
(Who has been my other half for the last 20 years, and the Godmother of my child ) 
The big news... & her reaction :)



<3 Ya Breezie!


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Monday, October 4, 2010

Monday MADNESS!


     ** WEEK #37 **
So we are on the final countdown!

According to "Babygaga.com" this is the final calm before the storm...


Apparently Lil One is about 7 pounds at this point, and about 20 inches!! 
We can't wait till she is on the outside...
We have a BUSY day today

  •  9:00am - Calling BabyPictures to reschedule (for a THIRD time) the second appointment for 3d ultrasound pictures.Which we are only still doing so we MAYBE can get something so its not a COMPLETE waste of already spent $$$.. for possibly later today??
  • 12:00pm - Aversion with the birth specialist @ Valley's Birth Center
  • Bring Anthony home to get ready for work
  • 3:00pm - WIC appointment (gotta luv those) 
  • ?:??pm - (Possibly) BabyPictures??
Then on Wednesday we will meet with Dr. Paretsky to talk about (whatever) the outcome of today is.

...Like scheduling the C-section if she doesn't turn AND bring her feet down... *Sigh*


I know this doesn't seem like a lot to most people, but this kind of day can really wear a girl out... especially GiBBs. (Melissa) On top of that she has not been getting good sleep lately with all the pain she's been in...

BUT, she's almost Done...

Then we all wont be getting sleep for a whole NEW (&Wonderful) reason ;)
________________

Random Pugg  Moment:

Mazda sleeping @ the foot of the bed







My alarm clock woke him up!!








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Saturday, October 2, 2010

Silly Saturday!

Do you remember Saturday morning cartoons??
When you would get up early on PURPOSE to wrap yourself in a blankie, big bowl of cereal in your lap and watch silly shows till you couldn't laugh anymore??
Everyone likes to laugh. I haven't met many people who don't. We all love to laugh, or smile, giggle to ourselves, or laugh out loud so randomly that the people around us wonder if they need to call for help...
(That last one is my FAVORITE pass-time)

Well I know that I do. I also know I LOVE to make others laugh, therefor.. I'm starting  
"Silly Saturdays!"

There is probably someone else out there who has already thought of this.. I've only been at this for a week. :) But I'm going to do it. So Saturdays I'm going to share random funnies.

Sit back, drink some coffee, chow some cereal, and remember what its like to just laugh.
...like there is nothing else that matters in the world...

Share them with your friends. Keep them to yourself. You can even join in and share what YOU'VE got!
All I ask, is that you smile, relax, and Laugh!





_____________________________________________________


The following laughs thanks to:
Dear Birds,
I'm not completely sure what's happening to our reputation.
I've been hearing a lot of weird things lately...
Sincerely, the Bees.


Dear Twitter,
Thanks for making it socially acceptable to stalk... I mean creep... 
I mean follow all of my "friends."
Sincerely, It is way easier than hiding in the bushes.
 
Dear optimists and pessimists,
I don't care whether it's half full or half empty, is anyone gonna drink that?
Sincerely, an opportunist.

Dear Teenage Kids,
When you act the way you did today, I understand why animals eat their young.
Sincerely, Your loving Mother.

Dear Life,
Please stop giving me lemons, I've had enough... I want f*cking chocolate!
Sincerely, People of the world


Dear Christopher Robin,
I'm stuck. Bring honey.
Sincerely, Winnie-the-Pooh



Dear guy who wrote the happy birthday song,
Genius.
Sincerely, Aspiring song writer.
 


Dear mean girl in high school,
You will get fat in college.
Sincerely, Karma.

Dear Automatic Flusher,
I haven't even sat down yet!! 
Sincerely, Annoyed user
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Try not to laugh!!! Betcha you can't!!
 

Friday, October 1, 2010

Damn Stupid Doctors...



At this point, I'm getting so sick of all of these DAMN doctors...
Every time we see one, they tell us how the last doctor wasn't quiet right... & we have gotten so many mixed bits of information. We run around town like chickens with our heads cut off. Its Stupid!

So last week we go in for a simple position check on the baby. Annaise, we discovered, is in whats called Frank Breech.
(For those of you who don't already know, that means instead of being head down like she's supposed to be, she's face up, with her legs strait so her feet are in front of her face, and she happens to be huggin her knees. )


We laugh & say how she's already a pain-in-the-butt like her daddy.. :)

When the ultrasound tech (who we love dearly, her name is Lynda-wit-a-Y, as she tells us) goes to look, she gets very worried.. there isn't a lot of fluid around baby. So little in fact, that she wants us to wait, while she goes and calls one of the specialists. SERIOUSLY?? what the heck does that mean? So we wait for awhile, & they finally tell us that its okay to go home, but not to go far from the hospital cause we might get called back in... Okaaay. So only a little freaked out, we head home. Which is nice because we have to meet the police back at our house to talk about my hubby's car getting stolen that morning. 
(Oh yeah, it had already been a Shitty Lovely morning.)
So we head back, meet the cop, and JUST as we are all getting into the garage to talk to him, Melissa gets a phone call, so she steps to the side to have some quiet.
The look on her face two seconds later scares the crap outta me. 

"We have to go back, The might need to do the C-section today."
She says, & I can see the tears of fear welling up instantly. 

So we leave the  boys with the police officer with the assurance that they will hurry and get done quickly, and I rush Melissa back to the hospital, Trying desperately to calm her down while focusing on the cars on the road. She has tears are streaming at this point, which I hate more than anything. 

"It's okay babes, we'll figure this out, its okay, I've got you, babes I'm Here."
I'm holding her hand while shifting gears, praying that things aren't as bad as they sound. I get her to the hospital and fly to the birth center. I feel like I'm on a skateboard with her in a wagon-tow behind me. And OFCOURSE today is the day the hospital is doing senior immunizations.. so the hospital is PACKED.


We finally get down to the BC and get her checked in. I help her get all un-dressed, and gowned, and into the bed, and they put her on the fetal monitor. (Remember, this is BOTH of our first times with pregnancy, so we are both confused & TERRIFIED) As soon as they hook up the monitor, Annaise's heartbeat sounds loud and clear. We both smile...hearing that sound was extremely calming.



They left us like that for a little bit, just listening. She was even calm enough that I could step outside for a little bit and call the boys, see where they were at. When I finished calling them I head back in to the room and Melissa says the doctor is on her way in. Right as the boys get there, the doctor says she's going to do a cervical exam. 

(Remember: she's also only recently 20, and only ever had ONE pap... when she found out she was preggo... so that is all still new to her as well.) So I stay by her side while the boys wait in the waiting room. The doctor is extremely nice & gives a lot of information, but then starts to explain that she is a little concerned. The baby doesn't look like she has a lot of fluid and they are hearing some compression kicks that they aren't liking.
So they want a detailed ultrasound. OK, sounds reasonable.. I step out to let the boys know whats happening, and as I walk back in, Melissa is crying. 

"WTF? I was gone for two seconds? what happened??"

Melissa then through tears tells me that the doctor just came back and said she called the specialists at Swedish, & they recommended that if she is under 5cm of amniotic fluid like they are thinking she is, than she needs to get the C-section for sure.... TODAY.

I think my heart stopped. & at the moment, Melissa began bawling.

As soon as she let me go, (I'm not gonna say she calmed down cause that was DEFINITELY not the case) I ran out to the waiting room & grabbed Anthony, explaining everything very quickly. As he ran back to be with her, I started making the phone calls. 



"Melissa's in the hospital, Baby has not alot of fluid, best case scenario: Melissa is kept over night, & put on bed rest till she delivers. Worst case? Baby comes TODAY." 

I had alot of very worried family members scrambling to get their butts to the hospital. I get back to Melissa and she is already in the ultrasound room. I walk in and am expecting to see more tears... but she's smiling! "What the hell??"

Melissa just laughed, "She's okay! She has 14cm of Fluid!" We get to go home!" 

Are you FREAKING kidding me?! 

I mean, at that moment I was happy, for sure! But I was also thinking "CRAP!" Now I gotta call everyone back, INCLUDING her boss who I have called and told she for sure wont be able to work anymore..."

& at that moment, I think my head (Happily) exploded.

Now today was spent, waiting in the doctors office, for Dr. Paretsky to tell us she really wants us to do an aversion since there is enough fluid, even though she doesn't think the chances of her turning and bringing her feet down are high, she still wants us to try. Even though Melissa said she'd really prefer not to and has really already gotten used to the fact that a C-section is most likely what will happen, and doesn't want to get her hopes up for nothing...

But we go ahead and tell her we will go to the consultation, and decided from there. So we drive around even longer, wait even longer, finally get into to see Dr. Cole, and he tells us the same things. "That's night quite true." "She's not quiet accurate on that." BlahDEfreakingblah So we figure what the hell. whats the worst that can happen, right?? So we scheduled the aversion for Monday and went home.. we were so tired at that point, NONE of us cared anymore.

So hopefully things go good on Monday... HOPEFULLY.










I did my Best to participate in #FF this week.. but all that got accomplished was TWITTER. 


*poo*

...O well....


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